One of the reasons I love bringing soup to work is that I can stand in there for awhile listening to people talk. Today was no exception.

Guy #1: I tell ya I hate runnin’ out of gas cause I just plain hate walkin’ anywhere.

Guy #2: I hear ya, I ain’t walkin’ to get no gas ever since my daddy got arrested when he was goin’ to get some when I was a kid.

Guy #1: He got arrested? What for?

Guy #2: They said animal abuse, but I tell ya he was bein’ assaulted!

Guy #1 (laughin): Your daddy get a horse after him tryin’a fuck him and he had to (chuckles) BEAT IT OFF? (laughs real loud)

Guy #2: Naw, his truck was outta gas so he got one of the cows and started ridin’ it down to the gas station and it reached around and tried to bite him. So he jumped off it and said “Well it’s gonna bite me, I’m gonna bite him back” so he tried to punch the cow in the face and the cow bit his hand, so he got mad and kicked it in the side and the cow started movin’ around tryin’ to get him so my daddy pulled out a knife and was gonna stab it when a cop drove up and pulled his gun and told my daddy to get on the ground and they arrested him for animal cruelty and abuse. Bout lost our farm cause my daddy had to fight that cow.

Guy #1: Yeah, that wouldn’t happened if he’da had gas in his truck.